Early Years Practice- 3.04 Achieving Positive Behaviour

Policy statement

The setting believes that children flourish best when their personal, social and emotional needs are met and where there are clear and developmentally appropriate expectations for their behaviour. This is a developmental task that requires support, encouragement, teaching and setting the correct example. Silver Stars believe that children flourish best when they understand the expectations and start to learn to consider the views and feelings, needs and rights of others and the impact that their behaviour has on people, places and objects. Children gain respect through interaction with caring adults who show them respect and value their individual personalities. Positive, caring and polite behaviour will be encouraged and praised at all times in an environment where children learn to respect themselves, other people and their surroundings. Children need to have set boundaries of behaviour for their own safety and the safety of their peers. Within the department, we aim to set these boundaries in a way which helps the child to develop a sense of the significance of their own behaviour, both in their own environment and those around them. Restrictions on the child’s natural desire to explore and develop their own ideas and concepts are kept to a minimum.

Procedures

• Staff have relevant in-service training on promoting positive behaviour.

•We recognise that codes for interacting with other people vary between cultures and require staff to be aware of – and respect – those used by members of the setting.

• Staff to relate to the Physical Contact Policy

•We require all staff, volunteers and students to provide a positive model of behaviour by treating children, parents and one another with friendliness, care and courtesy.

• We expect all members of our setting – children, parents, staff, volunteers and students – to keep to the guidelines, requiring these to be applied consistently.

• We work in partnership with children’s parents by communicating openly. Parents/Carers are regularly informed about their children’s behaviour by their key person. We work with parents to address recurring inconsiderate behaviour, using our observation records to help us to understand the cause and to decide jointly how to respond appropriately.

• By praising children and acknowledging their positive actions and attitudes, we hope to ensure that children see that we value and respect them

• Encourage all staff working with the children to accept their responsibility for implementing the goals in the policy. We are all responsible for behaviour management

• Promote non-violence and encourage the children to deal with conflict peaceably

• Provide a key person system enabling staff to build a strong and positive relationship with children and their families.

• Any conversations concerning children’s behaviour must be carried out in privacy, away from other parents and children. This should be done at drop off/pick up time or by phone during the day.

•Confidentiality is of paramount importance, and staff must refrain from discussing incidents with other parents and staff. We recognise and understand there are different parenting styles often dependent upon cultural and religion. The children’s safety and wellbeing are of paramount importance to us. If we feel that a parent or staff member is working against our safeguarding policy, then we will have no other option but to act upon these concerns to ensure the safety of the child or children. Nursery guidelines are concerned with safety, care and respect for each other. We do not accept inappropriate behaviour. We have clear strategies to reinforce positive behaviour and the Nursery recognises it is the behaviour that is unacceptable and not the child.

Behaviour Management is coordinated by Miss Jodie Warren.

Silver Stars’ Compass worker, Jade Williams, can be contacted for support and advice with different behaviour strategies. Compass can be contacted via email: compass@southglos.gov.uk.

Strategies with children who engage in inconsiderate or inappropriate behaviour

•We require all staff, volunteers and students to use positive strategies for handling any inconsiderate behaviour, by helping children find solutions in ways which are appropriate for the children’s ages and stages of development. Such solutions might include, for example, acknowledgement of feelings, explanation as to what was not acceptable and supporting children to gain control of their feelings so that they can learn a more appropriate response.

•Staff will not raise their voices in a threatening way. They will not use cross faces but be calm and show a neutral expression.

•We must provide a safe and secure environment for the children to thrive. It is therefore vital that staff within the same room maintain a professional relationship with each other. No personal indifferences should interfere with the daily running of the classroom as this can have an impact on the children’s behaviour

• How a particular type of behaviour is handled will depend on the child, their age and the circumstances; it may involve the child being asked to talk and think about what he or she has done.

•We ensure that there are enough popular toys and resources and sufficient activities available so that children are meaningfully occupied without the need for unnecessary conflict over sharing and waiting for turns.

•We acknowledge considerate behaviour such as kindness and willingness to share.

•We support each child in developing self-esteem, confidence and feelings of competence.

•We support each child in developing a sense of belonging in our group so that they feel valued and welcome.

•We avoid creating situations in which children receive adult attention only in return for inconsiderate or inappropriate behaviour.

•When children behave in inconsiderate or inappropriate ways, we help them to understand the outcomes of their action and support them in learning how to cope more appropriately. This is while respecting their level of understanding and maturity.

• Children will be distracted from the negative situation and supported in a different activity or environment within the room or area.

•Timers are used to support children in understanding sharing and turn taking.

•We never send children out of the room by themselves, nor do we use a ‘naughty chair’ or a ‘time out’ strategy that excludes children from the group. Children may be taken out of the situation to help calm and protect the rest of the children/ staff if needed.

•We never use physical punishment, such as smacking or shaking. Children are never threatened with these.

•We do not use techniques intended to single out and humiliate individual children.

•We use physical restraint, such as holding, only to prevent physical injury to children or adults and/or serious damage to property. Please see Physical Contact Policy for more details.

•Details of such an event (what happened, what action was taken and by whom, and the names of witnesses) are brought to the attention of our manager or deputy and are recorded. The child’s parent is informed.

•In cases of serious misbehaviour, such as racial or other abuse, we make clear immediately the unacceptability of the behaviour and attitudes, by means of explanations rather than personal blame.

Children under three years

•When children under three behave in inconsiderate or inappropriate ways we recognise that strategies for supporting them will need to be developmentally appropriate and differ from those for older children.

•We recognise that babies and very young children are unable to regulate their own emotions, such as fear, anger or distress, and require sensitive adults to help them do this.

•Common inconsiderate or hurtful behaviours of young children include tantrums, biting or fighting.  Staff are calm and patient, offering comfort to intense emotions, helping children to manage their feelings and talk about them to help resolve issues and promote understanding.

•Staff will not raise their voices in a threatening way, they will not use cross faces, but be calm and show a neutral expression.

•If tantrums, biting or fighting are frequent, we try to find out the underlying cause – such as a change or upheaval at home or frequent change of carers. Sometimes a child has not settled in well and the behaviour may be the result of ‘separation anxiety’.

•We focus on ensuring a child’s attachment figure in the setting (their key person) is building a strong relationship to provide security to the child.

•We focus on supporting and developing children’s managing of feelings.

Rough and tumble play, hurtful behaviour and bullying

Our procedure has been updated to provide additional focus on these kinds of inconsiderate behaviours.

Rough and tumble play and fantasy aggression

Young children often engage in play that has aggressive themes – such as superhero and weapon play; some children appear pre-occupied with these themes, but their behaviour is not necessarily a precursor to hurtful behaviour or bullying although it may be inconsiderate at times and may need addressing using strategies as above.

•We recognise that teasing and rough and tumble play are normal for young children and acceptable within limits. We regard these kinds of play as pro-social and not as problematic or aggressive.

•We will develop strategies to contain play that are agreed with the children and understood by them, with acceptable behavioural boundaries to ensure children are not hurt.

•We recognise that fantasy play also contains many violently dramatic strategies, blowing up, shooting etc., and that themes often refer to ‘goodies and baddies’ and as such offer opportunities for us to explore concepts of right and wrong.

•We are able to tune in to the content of the play, perhaps to suggest alternative strategies for heroes and heroines, making the most of ‘teachable moments’ to encourage empathy and lateral thinking to explore alternative scenarios and strategies for conflict resolution.

Hurtful behaviour

We take hurtful behaviour very seriously. Most children under the age of five will at some stage hurt or say something hurtful to another child, especially if their emotions are high at the time, but it is not helpful to label this behaviour as ‘bullying’. For children under five, hurtful behaviour is momentary, spontaneous and often without cognisance of the feelings of the person whom they have hurt.

•We recognise that young children behave in hurtful ways towards others because they have not yet developed the means to manage intense feelings that sometimes overwhelm them.

•We will help them manage these feelings as they have neither the biological means nor the cognitive means to do this for themselves.

•We understand that self-management of intense emotions, especially of anger, happens when the brain has not developed neurological systems to manage the physiological processes that take place when triggers activate responses of anger or fear.

•Therefore, we help this process by offering support, calming the child who is angry as well as the one who has been hurt by the behaviour. By helping the child to return to a normal state, we are helping the brain to develop the physiological response system that will help the child be able to manage his or her own feelings.

•We recognise that young children require help in understanding the range of feelings they experience. We help children recognise their feelings by naming them and helping children to express them, making a connection verbally between the event and the feeling. “Adam took your car, didn’t he? – and you were enjoying playing with it. You didn’t like it when he took it, did you? Did it make you feel angry?” Older children will be able to verbalise their feelings better, talking themselves through the feelings that motivated the behaviour.

•We help young children learn to empathise with others, understanding that they have feelings too and that their actions impact on others’ feelings. “When you hit Adam, it hurt him and he didn’t like that and it made him cry.”

•We help young children develop pro-social behaviour, such as resolving conflict over who has the toy. “I can see you are feeling better now and Adam isn’t crying any more. Let’s see if we can be friends and find another car, so you can both play with one.”

•We are aware that the same problem may happen over and over before skills such as sharing and turn-taking develop. In order for both the biological maturation and cognitive development to take place, children will need repeated experiences with problem solving, supported by patient adults and clear boundaries.

•We support social skills through modelling behaviour, through activities, drama and stories. We build self-esteem and confidence in children, recognising their emotional needs through close and committed relationships with them.

•We help a child to understand the effect that their hurtful behaviour has had on another child; we do not force children to say sorry but encourage this where it is clear that they are genuinely sorry and wish to show this to the person they have hurt

•When hurtful behaviour becomes problematic, we work with parents to identify the cause and find a solution together. The main reasons for very young children to engage in excessive hurtful behaviour are that

• they do not feel securely attached to someone who can interpret and meet their needs – this may be in the home and it may also be in the setting;
• their parent or carer in the setting, does not have skills in responding appropriately, and consequently negative patterns are developing where hurtful behaviour is the only response the child has to express feelings of anger;
• the child may have insufficient language or mastery of English to express him or herself and may feel frustrated;
• the child is exposed to levels of aggressive behaviour at home and may be at risk emotionally or may be experiencing child abuse;
• The child has a developmental condition that affects how they behave.
• Where this does not work, we seek professional help from other agencies to support the setting, child and family, making the appropriate referrals to a Support Team where necessary.

Biting

Biting among young children is common. Many adults find this phase extremely difficult, mainly because they do not have the correct information, experience or advice to help them deal with it effectively Children’s development can be a very complex process and they may begin to bite for a variety of reasons;

•Exploration – Babies, toddlers and young children learn through sensory play, touching, smelling, hearing and tasting. Young children may find it difficult understanding the difference between gnawing on a toy to biting another child.

•Teething – Children begin teething around the ages of 4 to 7 months. Swelling gums can be tender and can cause a great deal of discomfort. Infants sometimes find relief from this discomfort by chewing on something. Sometimes the object they chomp on is a real person! Children especially at this age do not truly understand the difference between chewing on a person or toy.

•Cause and Effect- As young children develop, they may become interested in finding out what happens when they carry out an action. (Loud scream, cry, protest from the victim)

•Attention- Young children may bite to get attention from adult, if they are not receiving enough attention or daily interaction. They may bite to get people to sit up and listen to them even if it is negative

•Imitation and independence- Children can enjoy imitating others making themselves feel more powerful and in control. Learning to be independent, making choices and needing control over others can be a difficult stage in their Social development. Children need to understand and learn the importance of sharing and taking turns.

•Frustration and Stress- Young children can often experience stress and frustration within their development. Learning new tasks and concepts, a lack of routine or a non-stimulating environment and having little or no English language could all affect their behaviour. A child being unable to express his / herself, can make them hurt others because they are unable to understand their own feelings and feelings of others.

Positive action

•Observe and monitor children’s behaviour in play and within an incident.

• Identifying times and behaviour when the incident occurs

• Provide stimulating environment and activities

• Close supervision and interaction

• Close partnerships with the parents

• Encourage social development, sharing and taking turns with others in play, providing specific activities to encourage this

• Provide sensory activities so children can feel free in expressing themselves.

• All staff to work together to shadow the child throughout the day.

Log the incident:

• When a child bites, the adult needs to show a neutral facial expression saying calmly ‘Stop, mouth closed’ and distract them immediately from the situation.

• If the child is showing signs that they are struggling to calm down, you may need to remove them from the situation for the safety of everyone until they calm down. This is not ‘time out’ but a time for the practitioners to support the child with their emotions.

• Age related- the child needs to understand their feelings so you can start to help them manage them. This can take time as feelings can be difficult for young children to control and understand. For older children you may say something like ‘It is ok to be cross when …took your truck. If you feel cross again tell me and I will help you.’

• Put the incident in context by logging who was in the room, what time of day was it, what were the staff doing and anything else that may seem relevant. If the child bites again (or repeatedly) this information can be used to build a picture of why the child does it – although you may not get a clear idea from one incident.

• Discussions with parents/carers around strategies to share a consistent approach
• Risk assessments to be put into place where required to protect the child and other children in the setting.

Be Reflective and ask yourself the following questions:

• What time of day did the bite occur? Was it when all the staff were busy with household tasks and expecting the children to entertain themselves? Was the biter tired or hungry?

• Is the child older/younger? Are they new to the room? How are the staff meeting the needs of that child? Make sure that any negative feedback does not reflect on the child via the staff.

• If the child is in the pre-linguistic stage as a toddler, work on encouraging signing, as this may give the toddler another source of communication as a tool to aid frustration.

Bullying

We take bullying very seriously. Bullying involves the persistent physical or verbal abuse of another child or children. It is characterised by intent to hurt, often planned and accompanied by an awareness of the impact of the bullying behaviour.  A child who is bullying has reached a stage of cognitive development where he or she is able to plan to carry out a premeditated intent to cause distress to another.

Bullying can occur in children five years old and over and may well be an issue in after school clubs and holiday schemes catering for slightly older children.

If a child bullies another child or children:

• We show the children who have been bullied that we are able to listen to their concerns and act upon them;

• We intervene to stop the child who is bullying from harming the other child or children;

• We explain to the child doing the bullying why her/his behaviour is not acceptable;

• We give reassurance to the child or children who have been bullied;

• We help the child who has done the bullying to recognise the impact of their actions;

• We make sure that children who bully receive positive feedback for considerate behaviour and are given opportunities to practise and reflect on considerate behaviour;

• We do not label children who bully as ‘bullies’;

• We recognise that children who bully may be experiencing bullying themselves or be subject to abuse or other circumstance causing them to express their anger in negative ways towards others;

• We recognise that children who bully are often unable to empathise with others and for this reason

•We do not insist that they say sorry unless it is clear that they feel genuine remorse for what they have done. Empty apologies are just as hurtful to the bullied child as the original behaviour;

• We discuss what has happened with the parents of the child who did the bullying and work out with them a plan for handling the child’s behaviour; and

•We share what has happened with the parents of the child who has been bullied, explaining that the child who did the bullying is being helped to adopt more acceptable ways of behaving.